A Not so Fun Bleachtastic Fairy Tail like Vacation
by Ai-Chwan
Summary: 'Twas an ordinary day in Fairy Tail...not! The same would go to another group of people from Soul Society and Karakura Town.
1. Prologue

**_Konnichiwa,minnasan!_**

**_I made a crossover fic! this one has been lingering in my head since I have read 'A Bleach Tail' by Rikkie._**

**_Disclaimer:I ain't own shit, the idea's mine,but was inspired by Rikkie.I said INSPIRED so I didn't copy._**

* * *

**_A Not-so-Fun Bleach-tastic FairyTail-like Vacation_**

_**Prologue**_

'Twas an ordinary day in Fairy Tail...not!

Fairy Tail did not have their usual havoc wreaking in the guild as Master Makarov booked an inn in who-knows-where-but-it-is-veeery-far-away-from-the-guild-and-is-veeeeeery-creepy.

* * *

_**Flashback**_

_"Hmm..."Master hummed after scanning the guild from the second floor of the guild._

_"What's the matter,Master?"Mirajane politely asked with a confused look plastered on her beautiful face. She knew that this is how the small Master looks like if he was thinking and/or hesitating about something._

_"..."Master Makarov did not answer, but suddenly lighten up._

_The little man stood up from where he was sitting and said,or shouted, "My Childrens!" everyone stopped at what they were doing. "Pay attention! We are going to close the guild for a few days to go for a vacation in an inn at a mountain. Rest reassured, the inn is owned by one of my old friends and he is willing to give a discount for a few months' of stay,"_

_Everyone was quiet. One second past, two, three, four..._

_**BOOM!**_

_"Yeah!" they cheered._

_And now they're having a pre-vacation party._

_**Flashback Ends**_

* * *

"Master~" called Lucy. "How is this a vacation again?" She whined.

"What! It's only a little work!I'm sure you'll be fine sooner or later, so stop whining!"Master said and spanked Lucy.

"Master!" fumed Mirajane.

"Ehehe~sorry, Mira-chan! My hand moved on its own," Master said sheepishly while his hand moved in a rather disturbing manor.

"Geez~don't do it again," Mirajane scolded the Master while putting her hands on her hips.

"Lucy, there's nothing you can do about it. It's Master and his weird friends after all. There would always be a catch, or at least a condition. Remember the S-Class Exam?" Gray patted Lucy on the head and reminisced about the S-Class Examination which happened a year—check that—eight years ago.

"I wish I never came~" Lucy , Happy chimed in."What can we do about it...I mean,it **IS **Master..."The blue cat sighed and glanced at the elderly guild master.

Here they are,in a rundown inn...having _**fun **_rebuilding the damn place. Note the sarcasm.

"No wonder Master got a cheap deal outta this," Cana deduced.

"Seriously,I don't know what's wrong/going on in his head,"Charle commented.

"Just shut it and get to work,"Erza boomed. A scary and intimidating aura could be sensed from her,making everybody feels like running away even to the depths of Earthland...or to the end of the universe.

Erza is currently feeling VERY agitated right now,as she had played straight into Master's hand without thinking about the consequences when dealing with Master. And she was really looking forward to having a fun and relaxing vacation too...

Of course,Erza wouldn't dare to scream and beat up the Master as he was hella' lot stronger than herself. Compared to Master, she would seem like a deer glaring weakly at an ever-so-fierce lion, or a mere pirate standing up to a Tenryuubito, or a tanuki-like reindeer fighting a certain red-headed pirate emperor.

Erza was hammering some nails to the wooden wall and Alzack,Elfman,Laxus and Bixlow helped her. Bixlow was being such a pain with his dollies by his side.

Natsu was melting scraps of metal so that Gajeel could mold them.

Lucy, Levy,,Juvia, Wendy, Charle, Cana, Evergreen, Kinana, Laki, Romeo and Happy was cleaning many things and places.

Mirajane and Lisanna was distributing snacks and drinks.

Master Makarov, Gray, Freed, Gildarts, Jet, Droy,Macao, Wakaba and Panther Lily (in his other form) was carrying stuff around back and forth.

Master Mavis sat at a nearby tree, idly watching the busy fairies with a lovely and somehow longing look in her eyes.

Nab, Max, Warren, Vijeeter, Reedus and the-rest-that-I-didn't-bother-writing-the-names are painting the walls and sorting out the rooms in the huge run-down inn.

Loke would also come out of his gate to help around everyday, along with the other spirits.

The inn could be called a hotel now that it is remodelled by theirs truly, Fairy Tail's members.

* * *

_**After a few days or so...**_

"Phew!It's all done!" exclaimed Lucy while wiping the sweat off her forehead with a big,satisfied and happy smile plastered on her beautiful—and a little dirty—face. The sight was just simply adorable. Minus the bags under her shimmering eyes.

Everyone was dead tired by then,except for Master Mavis,who came along without being noticed by anyone.

Master Makarov stared at the brand-new, finished and remodelled version of the run-down inn that they worked on non-stop for two weeks straight, without rest.

That's right, the mages worked their arse off for a straight three hundred and thirty-six hours in order to get the vacation they yearned for.

And believe it or not, the work actually paid off!

A construction that usually would take over a year now became only two weeks of never-ending hell of a workout with a barking Erza and a sleep deprived Lucy, also an overactive Natsu, a grumbling Gray, a gloomy Juvia, an almost Satan Soul Mirajane, along with an agitated Laxus and an over-dramatic Evergreen,with a grouchy Gajeel and Freed. Don't forget about an annoying Bixlow and a trash-talking sober Cana, and a tired-but-giving-a-deadly-aura Wendy with a VERY grouchy Charle by her side. And a Happy that looked tired and looks as if he could kill anyone who disturbs him.

The members of Fairy Tail has collapsed on the ground, having no energy to move inside the rebuilt building. Exhaustion took over and they all drifted to a long sleep. On the hard floor. For a straight three days.

* * *

_**At the same time**_

"Where the hell is the damned place?" A certain man that went with the name of Strawberry ranted.

"Stop talking!" Rukia ordered.

Orihime chuckled and reassuringly said, "Maa,maa,Kurosaki-kun~.I'm sure we're close," Sado nodded in agreement while Ishida kept silent as he was reading a book.

"Seriously, where is it?" Renji mumbled.

"Hey, guys!Is that it?" Rangiku pointed out as she stared at a not-so-far-away huge five-storey building.

Ichigo smirked and said, "Finally! That took forever!"

He then got in a racing stance and dashed off while screaming, "Race you there!"

Ikkaku clicked his tongue and dashed off as well. "Fine! I won't looooose~" He yelled while trying to catch up with Ichigo.

"Hey, no fair! You losers are playing dirty!" Renji shouted angrily at the strawberry and the baldy.

Hisagi face-palmed and asked to nobody in particular, "Why did we agree on going here again?"

Rangiku grumbled, "First the bright portal, next was the long and tiring walk, now the three stooges?"

"Stop whining and keep walking,"Hitsugaya said while his arms crossed on his chest.

_**At the hotel...**_

Ichigo stopped in front of the hotel only to see a lot of people collapsed on the ground.

Ikkaku bumped into him. "Why'd you stop, huh, carrot top?" He said while glaring at Ichigo.

Renji was lucky as he didn't bump on the other two as he stopped a couple of metres away from them. He also averted his gaze upon the sight Ichigo was staring at.

The rest finally reached their destination.

"Oh my..." Rangiku exclaimed...

* * *

_**How was it? I'm using 'nother laptop so I can't update my other fanfics, LfaRoL and YAT...**_

_**Ja'na,minnasan!**_

* * *

_**Was it fun?**_

_**maybe.**_

_**Cliffy?**_

_**maybe.**_

_**Want 'nother chappy?**_

_**Iono.**_

_**If you want...**_

_**What do I do?**_

_**...Then give me some motivations...**_

_**How?**_

_**...By commenting/reviewing...**_

_**?**_

_**...Oh, just write something in that box!**_


	2. Mad People and a Fair Lucy

**Konnichiwa,minnasan!**

**Hisashiburi,da ne?**

**Gomen! I didn't have enough time to do this so I worked for a straight 2 and a half hour for this chapter on my free time... **

**As you read, you may encounter a few (I hope) confusions or whatnot, but please don't mind this chatterbox of a mouth of mine.**

**'Nyways, have fun reading it and don't say I never warned you about any confusions in this lil' chappy~**

**Disclaimer: It's always the usual so I won't bother writing it...**

* * *

_**Mad People and a Fair Lucy**_

"_Oh my..." Rangiku exclaimed._

Suddenly, a girl with pink hair appeared out of nowhere. The girl stood in front of the half-gaping, half-not-gaping group.

"M-m-maid...san?" A certain stuffed lion called Kon stuttered delightfully. He was blushing slightly while looking at the lady... like how he usually would when he sees girls... then he got stepped by Ichigo.

"Who are you?" Ichigo asked.

The maid opened her mouth and talked. "My name is Virgo. Would you people be bothered to help me move Hime and her friends inside the building?" Virgo said in her usual monotone voice.

Ichigo glanced at the group.

"We must help those in trouble," Rukia said while earning nods from Kon.

"I see no problem with it," Ishida shrugged.

Orihime and Sado were already prepared to help.

"Shall we?" Rangiku said after recovering from her surprised state.

Dot dot dot, yada yada yada, etc.

Translation: The rest either nodded, shrugged, or replied with short sentences in agreement. **(I got lazy and was angered by my mother while writing this)**

...

The group walked over to help. Just then, Ichigo heard something.

"gurgh...unghhh..." "*snore*"

"Did you guys heard that?" He asked while concentrating on his hearing.

"Hm? Heard what?" Rukia asked on behalf of everybody.

"That," Ichigo said and paused. Everybody paused and...

"*snore*" "*snore*"

The group got closer and stared at the bodies on the ground. They stared, and stared, and stared, and finally snapped.

"**THEY WERE ASLEEP?**" Ikkaku yelled in disbelief and annoyance. A vein could be seen on his **(bald)** head.

"Way to state the obvious," Hitsugaya grumbled.

"Let's just get this over with," Ishida said and reached the nearest person next to him. The person next to him was a white-haired beauty,namely Mirajane,who was leaning on a tree. Ichigo sighed at his friend's attitude and saw a flash of gold. He walked to it and realized that the shiny golden thing was from someone/a girl. The girl had blond hair. Her sleeping face was cute and made Ichigo blush,though only a little.

Just as he got down to carry her bridal style, another bright light flashed and a guy with spiky strawberry blond hair appeared. His hair was in the same shade of strawberry blond as Ichigo. His hair looked like a lion's mane and he wore a suit and tinted glasses.

" Do _not _touch _my _Lucy," He glared at Ichigo while holding Lucy protectively.

Ichigo stood up and glared at the man who was holding Lucy. "I was only trying to _help_ her," He replied, emphasizing the word '_help _'.

" Onii-sama, were you not tired? I went here to help Hime, so please go back and rest. Also, you've stood up on six dates and there are still four pending ones, what should I say to them?" Virgo said. She was only watching from the sidelines and did not go back to the Spirit World. She is in her usual stoic self but worry flashed in her eyes. She did not want her 'Onii-sama' to fight as he was not in a very fine state.

After Virgo's remark, Loke finally gave up and hand Lucy to Ichigo's care. "If you dare lay a hand on my precious Lucy, you will definitely suffer the wrath of the leader of the Twelve Zodiac Spirits, Leo the Lion," He threatened Ichigo in attempt to scare him off.

Ichigo could sense the reiatsu building up inside Loke. he didn't flinch or do anything that showed any weakness and replied, "Whatever," then carried Lucy bridal style as he walked carefully to the opened door of the...inn? or was it hotel? Cottage maybe? Or villa? Oh well...

_**Time skip!**_

Everybody from Fairy Tail has now woken up one by one. Their fatigues has disappeared completely and they felt refreshed once again, courtesy of Orihime, Unohana and Isane.

Natsu woke up with a yawn, "*yawn* That was a good sleep!" He looked around and scratched his head. " Hmm...That's weird...I didn't remember sleeping on a bed," He said while sitting in a thinking position.

"*yawn* What's wrong, Natsu?" asked Happy. "Hey, Happy. Did you remember sleeping on a bed?" "No," Happy answered confusedly. The blue cat looked around and after a few seconds, he finally grasped the situation.

Natsu got up and yelled, "Yosh! It's time to explore!" and ran out of the room, and down the stairs.

As usual, his trustee Exceed replies the statement with an "Aye!" and followed suit, except that he was flying rather than running.

Then Natsu heard a familiar annoying voice. "Took you long enough, Flame brain," the voice taunted.

An angry icon appeared on his head and yelled again, "Shut up, Gay stripper!"

Natsu ran down the long stairs and saw Gray, who was sitting on a couch leisurely, smirking at the entrance of the fire mage.

Natsu then shouted, "Stupid droopy eyes!"

Gray replied, "Idiotic squinty eyes!"

"Walking underpants!"

"Lizard on fire!"

"Stripping snowman!"

"Crazy nincompoop of a pinky!"

"Gaylor—"

Before Natsu could finish, he was punched on the stomach,by none other than...The ever-so-terrifying Erza Scarlet!

"Were you fighting? Hmm?" The lady demon—I mean—Erza asked in a scary voice, along with a dark aura coming from her.

By this time, Happy had already hid in the kitchen, begging Mirajane to give him fish and hide in there until Erza calms down.

Gray shrank and hid behind Lucy, who was sitting on a chair near a table,sipping on a cup of tea,watching the whole 'Natsu-and-Gray-fights-and-made-Erza-mad' scenario happens again.

_They don't ever know when to stop, do they? _Lucy thought as she watch Natsu being the unlucky punching bag for Erza. Fortunately for Gray, he had ran away in time and has successfully avoid Erza's wrath and painful hits.

Lucy, being one of the sane people in the guild, puts down her tea and walked to Erza. She touched Erza's shoulder softly and said "E-Erza,s-stop it. You're going to kill him,"

The redhead then realized what she had done would only scare the people who was watching away. She cleared her throat and lowered her head slightly. "*ahem* I am sorry for my actions...and thank you,Lucy,for reminding me to stop," She said and flashed a smile at Lucy.

Lucy mentally sighed. She glanced at her pink-haired friend and sighed again. She fiddled with her keys and took a key with Virgo's mark on it.

"Gate of the maiden, I open thee! Virgo," Lucy chanted.

Virgo then appeared with a flash of light. "Is it time for my punishment,Hime?"

"No, I will not punish you. But can you take Natsu to his room? It's on the second floor, third room on the right near the stairs. And while you're at it, please treat his wounds. I'd really appreciate it, Virgo,"

"Understood, Hime. Anything else?"

"That's all. Thank you," Lucy tilted her head slightly and formed a smile to the spirit.

Virgo proceeded to doing her task diligently.

Lucy turned her head to a group of people scattered in the room. She bowed and said, "Sorry for the disturbance," She raised her head and smiled, "Shall we continue our discussion?"

The people just stared, sweat-dropped, or snickered. And others just did nothing.

"A-as expected from Lu-chan," Levy complimented her blond friend and smiled nervously.

* * *

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**1)Click on the box below.**

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**Bye-bee~!**


	3. Let the Sleeping Faeries Lie

_**Konnichiwa, minnasan~**_

_**Sorry for the late update! I started writing a fiction that has nothing to do with this site, as it came from my mind and I had no intention of using anime/manga characters as the casts.**_

_**There's OOC in this chapter. I've already warned you!**_

_**Oh, and standard disclaimers applied.**_

* * *

**_Let the Sleeping Faeries Lie_**

"_A-as expected from Lu-chan," Levy complimented her blond friend and smiled nervously._

Lucy grinned and sat down next to her best friend. "Where were we?"

"A-ah, we were going to introduce ourselves," Rukia replied, on behalf of everybody present there.

"Can our side start first?" Lucy asked.

Rukia glanced at her brother and said, "Sure. We don't mind,"

"Great! My name is Lucy. Lucy Heartfilia. The pink-haired boy Erza used as a punching bag is Natsu Dragneel, and the blue cat is Happy. And our guild's name is Fairy Tail!" Lucy said cheerfully.

"Erza Scarlet, S-class mage. I hope we get along," Erza said while staring at her freshly baked strawberry cake.

"Gray Fullbuster,"

"Juvia's full name is Juvia Loxar. Juvia will hate the people who dares to hurt Gray-sama,"

"He-hello, my name is Wendy Marvel. This is Charle," Wendy said shyly and pointed at her white and fully dressed Exceed partner.

"My name is Levy! Levy McGarden! This is Jet and Droy, and we are... Team Shadow Gear!" Levy said cheerfully then did the 'Team Shadow Gear pose', along with Jet and Droy.

"Gajeel Redfox. This bear-like cat is my Exceed partner, Panther Lily. And get down from the table, shrimp!" Gajeel said without paying attention as he got irritated by the weird pose Team Shadow Gear made.

"Cana Alberona. You don't mess with my drinks, I won't mess with you," Cana said uncaringly as she chugged her 'drink' which is inside a barrel.

"That's my Cana-chan~ By the way, I'm Gildarts Clive and Cana-chan is my beloved sweet daughter~" Gildarts said childishly and earned sweat drops from everybody while Cana glared at him.

"My name is Mirajane Strauss. This is my little brother, Elfman, and this is my little sister, Lisanna. I hope we will get along," Mirajane said and flashed her signature sweet, angelic and hard-to-resist smile, making most people blush and/or smile back.

"Freed Justine, member of the Raijinshuu,"

Evergreen puts her hands on her hips and arrogantly said, "Evergreen, queen of faeries, also a member of Raijinshuu,"

"Bixlow, also in Raijinshuu," Bixlow said while sticking his tongue out, "It's Bixlow!" "It's Bixlow!" his lingering dolls repeated.

"Laxus Dreyar. Leader of the Raijinshuu and my gramps are friends with the owner of this place,"

"Macao Conbolt. This is my son, Romeo Conbolt," "Wakaba Mine," "My name is Kinana," "Laki Olietta," "Max Aloze," "Warren Rocko," "Nab," "Vijeeter," "Reedus Jonah," blah blah blah...

"...Well, my name is Kuchiki Rukia," She said.

Everyone took turns to introduce themselves.

"Good evening. My name is Inoue Orihime," Orihime said while smiling and bowed her head.

"Ishida Uryu," said person pushed up his glasses.

"Sado Yasutora,"

_**Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah...**_

"The name's Abarai Renji," Renji said.

"Kurosaki Ichigo—" Just as Ichigo said his name, Ikkaku butted in. "Madarame Ikkaku. D'ya wanna see my lucky dance? Huh?" but was instantly declined by Erza. "No thank you,"

"No one wants to see that weird dance, y'know," Ichigo said and snickered.

"What'd you say?" A vein could be seen on Ikkaku's forehead.

"I said, 'No one wants to see that weird dance', you deaf or something?" Ichigo replied harshly with a tint of amusement, but more annoyed.

Soon enough, the two dunces broke into a fight.

Lucy sweat-dropped and asked Renji, "Don't we need to stop them?"

Renji laughed and patted Lucy's shoulder. "Don't worry! It's always like this. I'd usually be the peacemaker, though," He said with an animated glint.

"Like hell you are!" Ichigo and Ikkaku yelled in unison.

And now they became the three stooges who are fighting for a lame reason.

As the fight went on, they went out from their _gigai_ and drew out their _zanpakuto_s. The Fairy Tail mages were surprised and amazed at the same time.

Ichigo punched Ikkaku and sent him flying backwards.

Unlucky for the bald idiot, he accidentally stepped on Erza's freshly baked strawberry cake. Ikkaku could feel a dangerous aura looming at him. He slowly turned around and saw Erza. The redhead has equipped into her Heaven's Wheel armor. Erza threw swords at Ikkaku without a word or a warning. She then equipped into her Purgatory armor and dragged the half-dead Ikkaku outside.

A few seconds later, A girlish scream could be heard from the outside.

In the meantime, the fight between Ichigo and Renji are still going on. Both of them are ready to cut. As they were fighting, Renji got kicked by the stomach and landed on a certain blond mage.

The redheaded man tried to stand up, only realizing that the thing he was using to help him stand up are something soft, big and squishy. "Hmm? What's this? So soft..." He said while rubbing and groping the said thing.

"K-**KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!**"

Renji was pushed back by a Lucy, who was covering her chest protectively while quivering and blushing furiously.

Renji looked at the chest part which Lucy covered with her arms. He realized what he had touched and also blushed. He stood up and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand, while the other was held out to help the poor maiden up. "Whoa! Sorry, I didn't realize it was your—"

"Pervert!"

Lucy yelled the said word before Renji was about to finish his sentence.

Byakuya emotionlessly looked at Renji, shaking his head and said, "I am very disappointed in you,"

Renji looked at Rukia, asking for help. The said girl gave Renji a sympathetic look. "I'm shocked, Renji. I never knew you were like that,"

Renji's eyes were about to pop out from their sockets as he screamed, "What?" and ran.

"Gate of the Golden Bull, I open thee! Taurus!" Lucy was still covering her chest. A lone tear could be seen on her left eye, along with determination to—well—kill and also anger, from being sexually harassed by an oblivious and stupid guy.

Taurus appeared with a blinding bright light from his magic circle. "Moo! Lucy-san, you still have your wonderful breasts!" Taurus said, fawning over Lucy's unusually large bosoms.

Lucy sweat-dropped before saying, "Whatever. Get him!" and pointed angrily at Renji, who was running towards the huge entrance that was slightly ajar.

"Moo! Rampage!" Taurus yelled while swinging his axe before hitting it on the ground, damaging the floor as he chased Renji with Lucy following from behind.

"..."

Everyone stared at the now open door along with the damaged floor.

Then, a high-pitched agonized scream could be heard.

"Gu-**! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"**

"..."

"Umm...Look! I drew a drawing of this place!" Mirajane said, trying to release the tension in the room, holding a piece of paper near her beautiful face.

"Ha! I win!" Ichigo said, swinging his _zanpakuto _over his shoulder, with a pleased look. Which disappeared when a tearing sound was heard, along with a malicious dark aura.

He turned his head slowly, sweating heavily as his eyes looked as if it could throw themselves out of him.

He turned pale as he gazed at the silhouette behind him, Mirajane, who was smiling sweetly, though emitting a dangerous menacing aura.

She was holding a piece of paper that was torn in two pieces, with the middle splitting them apart.

"M-Mira-nee, calm down, please?" begged Lisanna, who had been watching them quietly. Lisanna formed a crooked smile while she sweat-dropped.

Mirajane turned her head and looked at Lisanna, still keeping her smile, and said, "What are you talking about Lisanna? I'm not angry, not at all,"

_That's what she said_, they all thought. Because, apparently, the growing demonic aura behind her could be called visible already.

"I'm not angry~" Mirajane said softly while taking small steps towards Ichigo.

She continued, "But I'm furious! How dare you, I put all of my efforts to draw that, and you just tore it like it was nothing? Bad kids needs to be punished!" Mirajane lashed out a tremendous magical energy as she chanted, "Satan Soul!"

The nice and gentle Mirajane has now changed into an angry looking demon clad in a revealing outfit, with a pair of bat-like wings and a scaly tail. Her ears became pointy while a dark-coloured lipstick decorated her lips. Her hair jutted upwards and the small ponytail that tied her bangs grew longer. Her arms also had transformed into something else.

"!" Most of the _shinigami_s almost gawked at Mirajane's entirely different appearance.

Mirajane looked at Ichigo, then her surroundings. She then dragged Ichigo by the collar, taking him outside to avoid more damages in the building.

Most of the onlookers rushed outside to see what's happening.

When they got outside, the supposedly green lawn has now been evaded with craters everywhere. Pots, walls, and trees from the forest around them had been destroyed. Stains of dried blood could be seen on random places.

_What in Earthland happened here? _And _What in the name of the great commander happened? _Was what most of them thought.

"Soul Extinction!"

"Getsugatensho!"

Ichigo stood on the air, breathing heavily, while Mirajane, on the other hand, stayed calm and scary, not a scratch on her delicate skin, and no heavy breaths gasping for air. Perfectly calm, not tired, much less scathed.

"Evil Explosion!"

Finally, the last blow came, before making Ichigo fall to the ground, lying there unconscious.

The group of people who stood by the door was amazed. _So they were people who could pull of an insta-kill attack at Ichigo? _Rukia thought, before finally noticing the other two figure sprawled on the ground not far from Ichigo.

Mirajane had transformed back to the lovely barmaid and is now walking over to Lucy and Erza, who was sitting like nothing happened while sipping tea and sitting leisurely on one of the outdoor seats. The two also was nowhere near hurt, let alone, tired. It seems that the two had invited Mirajane to join them in their little chat.

Ikkaku, who was sprawled near the group, managed to mumble, "Let the sleeping Faeries lie," before drifting to darkness.

"...They're real mens," Elfman muttered.

* * *

**_How was it? Was it bad? good?_**

**_Tell me about it! Or else..._**

**_Tell me what pairing I should do~ (Mostly because I didn't feel like putting up a poll on my profile...)_**

**_Thanks for your supports by reading this! (This chapter ain't the last one!)_**

**_Bye-bee~!_**


	4. In The White Room

_**Konnichiwa, minnasan!**_

_**I know I'm somewhat a bit late on updating, but a lot's happening, and that includes my old laptop on my lap (?) and me having to trace back for memories of my fan fics and the rest of the chapters as I have a st—kind mother who,for some reason, accidentally deleted the folder for my fics. All of them. Erased. Not even available in the Recycle Bin.**_

_**Oh, Joy.**_

_**'Nyways, enjoy this chapter!**_

_**Disclaimers: I own nothing, not even sh—wait, I owned the hotel! or was it inn... or cottage... hnn... *doze off***_

* * *

_**In The White Room**_

Ichigo woke up with a yawn. He glanced around the room he is in right now.

The room was white with at least ten beds similar to the one he was resting on. They were medical equipments in the room. The cabinets and shelves were made of glass and many medicines and first-aid equipments were placed neatly in them. The room smelled like antibiotics, so he assumed it was the infirmary.

He saw two other people placed—or tucked in—on the beds next to him. Then he noticed that it was Ikkaku and Renji. Ikkaku was mumbling something that sounded like, "Help...please...spare..." then shivered. Renji, on the other hand, was sweating madly, while constantly yelling, "Gah! Save me! No more!" in his sleep.

'_Are they having...nightmares?_' Ichigo furrowed his eyebrows at the thought. Ichigo tried to move, but he felt sore. He was wrapped in bandages all over. '_Why am I wrapped in bandages?..._' He closed his eyes to think. '_...Oh yeah, Mirajane-san transformed into something else... Is she a demon in disguise? Or was that her _bankai _form?..._'

His train of thoughts were cut off when a soft creak of the door went into his ears.

A female voice spoke gently, "...Are you awake? We're sorry. We got carried away,"

Lucy appeared behind the door, slowly coming in Ichigo's vision. She was holding a tray of soups in three servings, and a jug of water. And also a plastic bag.

Lucy slowly placed them on a small table not very far from Ichigo. She carried a bowl of the hot soup with both of her hands, before carefully putting it on the side table next to Ichigo's bed.

Ichigo paused at her actions before realizing that he was staring at the blond. "Uhh, thanks..."

Lucy looked up at Ichigo, then flashed a bright smile. "It's fine! It was mainly our fault that the three of you ended up in here. Sorry for taking your precious holiday time,"

Ichigo found himself staring at her again, surprised by the way she is speaking. Despite her revealing outfit, she speaks politely.

"... Oi, Ichigo, why're 'ya starin' at her?"

Ichigo flinched, startled by the familiar voice of the bald Third Seat of the Eleventh Division, Madarame Ikkaku, or as Yachiru calls him, Baldie. ...Yes, It's Baldie, not Barbie, people. And not Bucket either, though as tempting as it sounds, no.

"I'm not!" Ichigo immediately growled.

"... Well, he IS a _pervert_," spoke another voice, followed by a snicker by the owner of the voice, Abarai Renji.

"Should we call 'im 'Ichi-_hentai_' or does 'Ichi-_ero_' sounds better? What d'ya think, Ichigo? Hehe.." Renji taunted.

Ichigo kept quiet. All the taunting is making his anger about to burst, but since Lucy's here, he did NOT want to make an outburst.

Well, before his anger reached it's limit, Lucy stopped them from talking by wrapping her whip around them, head to toe, leaving only the eyes and nose free.

"Fleuve d'Etoiles," With a swift call, she managed to keep the two idiots quiet. "Now, now... **patients should stay quiet until they're fully recovered**..." Lucy threateningly said while pulling her Fleuve d'Etoiles little by little, tightening the grip on Ikkaku and Renji.

Ikkaku and Renji nodded furiously. Lucy gave a satisfied look and finally letting them go.

Lucy walked to a cabinet with many bandages in them.

Ichigo had been wondering for a while, and now, he finally had the guts to ask the blond beauty. "Hey, why's there so many first-aid stuff here?"

Lucy answered, "Oh? That's because everybody likes to fight and get injured, and we can't always rely on Wendy-chan when it comes to healing the patients. Nor we can ask your friends, since you all are also the guests here,"

"..." Ichigo gave an understanding look.

"Ha-ha, we're like that too, but getting hurt is prove that we're men," He said coolly. Lucy looked at him with an admiring glint in her eyes.

_Groooowwlll..._

But that one thing just ruined his moments.

"Bfft—GYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Renji and Ikkaku were laughing animatedly on their beds, rolling, laughing, and crying at the same time.

Ichigo released a menacing aura, mainly aiming at the two. But stopped when Lucy giggled.

Lucy slowly took the bowl of hot soup, sat on the free space on Ichigo's bed, rested the bowl on her lap, and took a spoonful of soup before gently blowing it, making sure it was cool enough to eat.

"Say '_aahhh_'..." Lucy held the spoon over to Ichigo's mouth. He subconsciously opened his mouth. The spoon went in his mouth.

"Does it tastes good? Was it too hot?" Lucy asked as she withdrew the spoon before taking another spoonful of soup.

Ichigo swallowed the soup. The hot liquid went down his throat. The soup was tasty and soothing as it passed his throat.

Ichigo beamed. "It tastes great! Who made it?"

Lucy showed a glad look, and said, "Me, of coarse!"

The blonde maiden continued feeding the injured carrot until the bowl was empty. While Ichigo was being fed, Ikkaku and Renji was watching them intensely.

Lucy noticed the two and took another full bowl, bringing it to the bed next to Ichigo's, which happens to be Ikkaku's.

Ikkaku watched every single move the key-bearer made.

She sat near Ikkaku, making him jerk back a little.

"Now, say '_aahh_'..." She cooed. She made the same movements as she did to Ichigo. Ikkaku gulped before Lucy placed the spoon in his mouth.

Lucy made the movements repeatedly, amused by how pleased the bald man looks as he was being fed.

Ikkaku was crying animatedly, streams pouring down his cheeks, with a tint of red and a face full of happiness.

'_This is heaven...!_' he thought.

He too, cleared the bowl of soup in minutes. Ikkaku sprawled on his bed, thinking about things as Lucy went to take another bowl to feed Renji.

As she was feeding the man she injured, she asked, "Umm... Renji-san? Can I ask you a question?"

Renji nodded as he engulfed himself in the pleasure of being fed. By. A. Girl. A cute one, at that.

"Why is Ikkaku-san happy when..." Lucy asked shyly and glanced at the happily sleeping Ikkaku.

Renji gulped the liquid in his throat, and said, "Oh... that's probably because he came from the Eleventh Division,"

"What's the Eleventh Division?"

"Well... it's a place filled with rowdy men,"

'_I bet Fairy Tail would fit it quickly..._' Lucy sweat dropped at the thought.

"And there's no one there to take care of the injured ones like you do, so I think it's a new think for 'im,"

"But there's also others that tends to their wounds, right?"

"They are... but that's that. They don't take care of 'em _after_ that... well, we have the Fourth Division for that, but not as nicely as you do. And they don't get fed by a cute nurse..." Renji mumbled the last sentence that came out like whispers.

"Hm? Did you say something?"

Renji shook his head and crashed on the springy bed, then let out a satisfied sigh.

Lucy got up and headed to the tray to put the used bowl. Then she picked up the jug and filled three glasses with water. She took all three glasses and set them down on the side tables next to the patients who were sleeping, or just closing their eyes.

Lucy then picked up the tray and headed to the door. She nearly toppled the half-filled jug and the bowls. Three spoons fell to the ground, making Lucy realize something.

"Shit! I accidentally used the same spoon three times!" she exclaimed.

The blondie immediately rushed out the door.

Natsu, Gray, Erza, and Happy was standing by the door.

"Why didn't you treat us like that when we're injured?" Natsu asked, annoyed.

"Shut up!" Lucy yelled.

The quartet, and the cat, walked away from the infirmary

As soon as their figures are far from the white room, Ikkaku's and Renji's eyes snapped open instantly.

They jolted from the lying position and harshly grabbed the glass of water on their side, trying to wash away the feelings on their tongues.

"Blegh—I just kissed you indirectly!" Renji stated annoyingly, while trying to scrub the taste off his tongue, as if his life depends on it. Check that, his **pride** depends on it.

Same goes for Ikkaku. He spat out on every opportunity he has, gurgling the water and spitting it out over and over again until he thinks the taste (of Ichigo) had disappeared.

Now, both of their tongues felt numb. Ichigo felt numb. Ichigo felt numb because he had been trying to hold back his laughter by biting his tongue.

And now, Ichigo had burst out laughing. The whole place could hear him laugh until the next day.

Renji and Ikkaku had been scarred now. And I'm in wonder on how Renji knows about indirect kiss. (Oops, I made him know that...)

...

Oh, and the plastic bag contains clothes the three idiots can change in.

* * *

**_How was it? Did you find it funny? Were you thinking that my sense of humour is like crap on fire in a paper bag in front of the teachers' lounge?_**

**_Tell me! now!_**

**_NOW!_**


	5. Science and Math with the Author!

**_Konnichiwa, minnasan!_**

**_Here I am again! I hope you enjoy this chapter, though it can and may be a bit hard to understand..._**

**_Disclaimer: Me no own 'nything :D_**

**_P.S: Italics are sound effects/actions_**

* * *

_**Science and Maths with the Author!**_

_**Examine the experiments below.**_

_**.**_

**Experiment 1: To determine what happens if we put Kuchiki Byakuya and Freed Justine on a table at tea time.**

"Hello,"

"...Hello,"

_Sip._

_Sip._

"..."

"..."

**After 10 minutes**

"That was a nice conversation,"

"Pleased to make your acquaintances,"

.

**What is kept the same: **The condition of both long-haired guys.

**What is changed: **The amount of sips taken from tea.

**What is observed: **The unchanging looks on both faces.

**Result: **No changes have been made.

.

.

.

**Experiment 2: To determine what happens if we put an after-training Madarame Ikkaku and Vijeeter on a dancing contest.**

"Phew~ that was some nice training~ huh? A dance contest? I'm in!"

...

"Fairy Tail's side: Vijeeter!"

"Soul Society side: Madarame Hage—Ikkaku!"

...

"Watch my wonderful new dance; The Waltzing Flower!"

_Dance. Dance._

...

"Hmph! That was nothing compared to my Lucky Dance! I'm lucky~ I'm so lucky~ I'm the luckiest man on Soul Society~ Hey join in!"

_Nudge. Nudge. Raises both hands to capture the other party. Hugs the other party._

"Gyaaaaaaaaaah! Molesterrrrr!"

_Runs._

"..."

.

**What is kept the same: **The fact that Ikkaku is half-naked, sweaty, and is dancing weirdly.

**What is changed: ** Iono.

**What is observed:** Vijeeter's reaction towards Ikkaku.

**Result:** A traumatized Vijeeter.

.

.

.

**Experiment 3: To determine what happens if Kon tries to pick a fight with Laxus Dreyar.**

"Hey, big guy! Why are you so big?! Did you take steroids?! I'm not scared of you!"

_Kicks Laxus with his stuffed leg._

"..."

_Listening music from SoundPod while hearing a muffled voice from a stuffed animal who is kicking him. Opens an eye. Got annoyed._

_Zap._

"...O-okay... I won't bother you... o-onee-san...help..."

_Faints._

_._

**What is kept the same: **The song from SoundPod.

**What is changed: **The condition of the stuffed lion.

**What is observed: **The difference of strength of both parties.

**Result: **A roasted stuffed animal.

.

.

.

_**Solve the problems.**_

_**.**_

**Rangiku + Wine + Erza = ?**

**= (Rangiku + Wine) + Erza **

**= Drunk Rangiku + Erza**

"Hey~ Erza-chaaan~ don't you think my captain is cuuuute? Look~"

_Hugs Hitsugaya Toushirou tightly between her enormous bosoms._

"Matsumoto! Let me go this ins—"

"Uh—Umm..."

_Blusshhhhhhhhh..._

**= Flustered Erza**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**Lucy + Curiosity + (Ishida + Interesting Book) = ?**

**= (Lucy + Curiosity) + Bookworm Ishida**

**= Curious Lucy + Bookworm Ishida**

"Hello! Is that a book from where you came from?"

"Yeah..."

"What's it about? Can I read it?"

"Sure...?"

"It's fine! Continue reading, I'll just start at where you stopped,"

_Leans closer._

_Saw cleavage._

"Hey, what language is this?"

"...? You don't know? This language is called 'Japanese'... You speak in it, but you don't know it?"

"Ehh~? Can you teach me?"

"Sure,"

_Leans closer._

_Feels each others' breathes._

"He llllllikes you~"

"Shut up, stupid cat!"

**= Blushing Bookworms, Playful Happy**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**(Girls + Bath) + Guys = ?**

**= Bathing Girls + Peeping Guys**

"Lucy, did your breasts grew again? It looks a bit bigger,"

"Erza, stop it... it hurts... don't squeeze it or...or..."

_Blusshhhhh..._

"Umm... Rukia-san?"

"What is it, Wendy-chan, Levy-san?"

"U-umm..."

_Stares at chest part._

"Looks like we're together..."

_Glooms with hands on chest part. _

...

"Hat-chuuuu!"

"Shhhh!"

"Who's there?!"

_Throws swords on walls._

"He-hey... are the guys... peeping?"

"What? If it's Natsu and Gray, how about asking them to join? Just like old times..."

"NO!"

...

"Th-that was close..."

"Don't invite us to do this EVER again..."

...

**= Almost-dead Guys**

* * *

**_So? How was it? I had a science test when I thought about this idea. And then my sister was all like, "me plus him minus you equals happily ever after," And I ignored her as I thought about the idea._**

_**'Nyways, leave a review before you go do something else!**_

_**Bye-bee!**_


End file.
